Why is resting so hard?

For many of us, resting is hard because our brains are wired for survival. This means that our brains are constantly on the lookout for danger, and this can make it difficult for us to relax.

When we can't rest, we often think that something is wrong with us. This is because our nervous system is used to operating under high stress, and so doing nothing can be very uncomfortable.

When we do try to rest, our brain often resists because it doesn't want to notice any uncomfortable thoughts or emotions that may be lurking beneath the surface. However, by taking some time to rest, we can give our brains a much-needed break from the constant stress and distractions of everyday life.

There are many different types of rest, and so it's important to find the one that works best for you. Some people find that physical rest, such as sleeping or taking a nap, is most helpful. Others find that mental rest, such as taking short breaks throughout the day, is more...

Setting boundaries is hard.

As mothers, we are constantly giving of ourselves. We nurture and care for our children day in and day out. We put their needs before our own, often at our own expense.

It's no wonder then that setting boundaries can be so difficult. We're so used to putting other people's needs before our own, that when it comes time to set a boundary, we can feel guilty, afraid, and sad.

But it's important to remember that setting boundaries is not a bad thing. In fact, it's healthy for you to have boundaries. Other people have boundaries that you are expected to respect, and setting boundaries is a sign of a healthy relationship.

If communicating your needs ruins the relationship, then your relationship was on the cusp of ending anyways.

So how do you deal with the discomfort of setting boundaries?

First, feel it. Sit with the discomfort and allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions.

Then, journal about it. Write down your thoughts and feelings....

I'm two weeks away from turning 46 years young and I'm contemplating my first tattoo. Yes, believe it! In a world where I'm pretty much the minority, being a female sans body ink, I've always thought about it but my parents' voices always rang in my ear after five minutes of the idea passing through my mind.

Two of our daughters have tattoos- at least two each, as far as I know. It wasn't until they came home with nose piercings that I became brave enough to pierce my own. So at 44, I sat in the chair of some seedy shop (at least that's how I came to think of any shop where people came out with body piercings and fresh tattoos) while a woman told me stories of other mid-lifers who did way more to their bodies than put a little hole through their noses.

The shock to my family when I came home with a shiny little diamond on the side of my nose disappeared rather quickly - thank goodness! And I went on to sport my new fashion for about two months until one day, I just took it out and...

It's been two months since I drank alcohol. I've never been an alcoholic or a heavy drinker really. Although there has been times where I overindulged. Once when I blacked out completely (I can recall the night 24 years ago, but not the details of it) but mostly I've just been an occasional drinker. The last time I drank was on Easter where I had two kahlua and creams. Before Easter I hadn't drank for two weeks, resolving to just see how I'd do. Like a social experiment with myself!

About a year ago, maybe two, I did a 30 day challenge that ended up continuing for 100 days. The hardest part was being around friends. Alcohol has always served to loosen me up because I can be pretty uptight in company and so I gave it up to see if I could loosen up and relax on my own. This time, I gave it up because I want to be better at practicing what I preach. I want to be more conscious of what I put into my body.

Alcohol doesn't benefit me in any way. It lets me relax but I can figure out other...

I missed the sunrise again. I'm in Florida at a beach on the Atlantic Ocean, been here three days now and I twice I overslept. But I am going easy on myself. It's a vacation afterall and I can sleep as needed. I'm upset that I missed the sunrise, but I will have tomorrow, my last day to get up and go see it. I saw it yesterday, albeit it was a bit cloudy. 

I had to defend my choices last night. A conversation I had with my husband (Jason is his name, btw) revealed that he didn't quite understand why I am vacationing alone. I thought he did so when he said he was still confused, it caught me off guard. My mom and oldest daughter are confused as well about my decision to come alone. So, of course I googled it. I can't possibly be the only mom to have taken a vacation solo.

And alas, I am not. It's a thing. A "momcation" is what it's been termed. I copied the links to some articles and sent them to my husband, mom, and daughter. They highlighted exactly why I decided to fly 1000...

I've tried blogging before, like not for my business, but just for fun. It was probably about 10 or so years ago, maybe longer. Funny thing is that you can still find it if you look far enough back in google. My newer ventures fill up the first few pages. It was all about my experiences with homeschooling and running a hotel- done at the same time, mind you.

I know people who blog for a living and I always found it interesting. I am a writer, perhaps not a great one, but a writer nonetheless. When I was in about fifth grade, my best friend Veronica and I co-authored Charlie, his Five Sisters, and a Chocolate Bar. I still have the notebook that we passed back and forth for months stored safely in my hope chest. 

My mom's a great writer. She's actually the editor of a newspaper and writing has always been her passion. She started a family newspaper when she was in grade school, was the editor of her high school newspaper, wrote for a number of papers in her late teens and early...

Being chronically stressed can lead to an inability to rest, but lack of rest can make you more susceptible to stress. It’s like the chicken and the egg scenario, where each supersedes the other and it’s hard to tell which comes first. What we do know, however, is that it is super important to break this cycle so that we minimize the harmful effects on our physical, mental, and emotional health.

When you are experiencing constant stress, you will often find that your anxiety and worry increases. The anxious thoughts may keep you up at night or even if you manage to fall asleep, they keep you tossing and turning and not getting the sleep you need. Sleeplessness impedes your ability to cope with what life throws at you, which naturally leads to an increase of stress. And thus the cycle continues unless you interrupt it.

Physiologically, when a person is in a stressful situation, the body releases certain hormones, particularly cortisol, adrenaline, and noradrenaline, which...

Self-esteem is defined as the opinion you hold about yourself and when you ask yourself “what do I think about myself?”, what do you come up with? On a scale of 1 to 10, where does your opinion of yourself lie? Would you say you are a 10? Take a moment and honestly assess the level of your self-esteem and if you’re any less than a 9, then perhaps you could benefit from the strategies I’m about to go through in this post.

To build your self-esteem and to change the opinion you have about yourself takes intention and work. You can not expect to suddenly like yourself overnight. Sure, there may be moments where you feel good about yourself and experience some pride about a job well done but it is the act of reflecting, collecting evidence, and consistently challenging your thoughts and underlying beliefs that will ultimately shift your opinion of yourself to one that gives you confidence, purpose, clarity, and fulfillment in life.

 Become aware of and...

The effects of having low self-esteem are wide and at first glance may be surprising but if we go back to the cognitive model, we can see that what we believe about ourselves dictates most of what we think, feel, and do. Therefore your self-esteem is a major player throughout your life and when you don’t like yourself, or your self-esteem level is on the lower end, then much of what you are thinking, feeling, and doing are likely not serving you.

OVERACHIEVING

So, how does low self-esteem affect you? Some of its consequences may appear to be positive and mistakenly not attributed to low self-esteem, such as the drive for success. There is a large handful of overachievers who work to make themselves feel good and significant. They are afraid of letting others know they aren’t good enough (which is the belief they may hold about themselves) so they work twice as hard to prove otherwise. 

Tying your worth to your to-do list may signify you have low self-esteem.

...

While feeling good about yourself isn’t the only road to loving your life and finding happiness, it certainly is one of the most important. Remember, change starts with you and so it is up to you to work on improving your self-esteem so that you can unlock happiness and live the life you want to be living.

But, of course it’s easier said than done and improving the way you feel about yourself takes work, commitment, and consistency. Self-care is at its foundation. Even if you were to spend time going through numerous exercises aimed at helping you improve your self-esteem, if you are neglecting the care of yourself, your self-esteem will continue to suffer. 

Let’s start with reviewing the basis of where to begin when you want to feel good about who you are- taking care of your body. Physical self-care. This often is the easiest place to start because you can feel the effects of physical self-care relatively quickly. Moving your body, fueling it with...